Zodiacs”R”Us

21 Jul

Horoscopes. Such an important insight to get to know very deep things about someone you just met. Here’s what I learned (and what you will from now on) from analyzing people and their star signs so far – If you get offended reading this, you’re probably a Taurus, or Britney Spears (we’ll get to that later).

Virgos. I know their motto is benevolence, but they’re downright selfish motherfuckers. They may seem like good, obedient listeners but they will somehow rebel against your advice in the most passive aggressive ways. Dudes, no one asked you to be a submissive bitch in the first place.

Matt-Irwin-Vogue-Russia-Dec-2009-virgo

Geminis. A Gemini will always find a way to be annoying/obnoxious. They’re always “too” something i.e too cute, too witty(me), too jumpy, too sociable or too introverted – You get the gist. Oh and calling them versatile is the politically correct term for hypocrite.No point trying to understand geminis, there isn’t much to understand.

Matt-Irwin-Vogue-Russia-Dec-2009-gemini

Sagittarius: If in a relationship they will cheat, because yes, Sags are hunters (as excuses go, that’s a pretty valid one). They invented bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Ask Britney Spears if you don’t believe me. But hey, the smartest people are crazy (no, not you Brit Brit ❤ )

britney-spears

Pisces: They’re as stable as water (get it?) and so they will end up drowning themselves and perhaps drowning you with them. They’re not really ‘dreamers’, they’re just like everyone else, but it takes them longer to figure it out.

Leos: They’re the kings of the jungle. Except we’re not in a jungle you aggressive, attention seeking little fucks. No but seriously, I love Leos.

Matt-Irwin-Vogue-Russia-Dec-2009-leo

Capricorn: Capricorns are very serious-minded, which is ironic as no one takes them seriously. Ambitious (which translates into fame/money-hungry opportunists) , they also  show no emotion as they prefer to “look” strong. Oh and If you over-rate yourself, you’re a Capricorn (at heart). THEY CAN’T SIT WITH US!

I don’t know much about Libra men, but I can tell you their women are man-stealers. Hide your fiancés ladies, those girls are out to get them. The libra chick has nothing “balanced” about her except maybe her boobs.

Scorpios: Born with a grudge, they are only qualified at hurting themselves; that is Scorpio’s ultimate curse. Scorpios have strong sex drives, because it gives them yet another opportunity to smoke. They are big babies with adult fetishes.

Taurus: Arguably the most annoying sign in the galaxy, a True Taurus has at least been in a fight at Taco Bell once. He or she holds grudges about things that never actually happened. Taureans are impatient and pushy. They are in a tremendous hurry to get to the nowhere that they intend to go to and act out scenarios of the way things would be if they were God. The Lebanese girl in Mean Girls was probably a Taurus.

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Cancer: They often feel persecuted. Like you’re out to get them or something. They are misunderstood; they’re not erratic, back-stabbing creatures, they’re just very weary. Cancereans end up getting screwed by everyone and they like it.

Aquarius: Aquarians didn’t exist in my world until a friend illuminated me that they are earth/human loving hippies. And now I know an Aquarian when I see one, complete with hobo skirts, a farmer’s tan and bad teeth. You know, just like rock stars or the 60’s.

And Finally Aries, Who I know nothing about – But am sure, are just as annoying as Taurus.

Matt-Irwin-Vogue-Russia-Dec-2009-aries

Namaste everybody,

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A Social Media Love Affair

10 Mar

Or a love/hate relationship to be more accurate.

You see, I can’t quite decide whether I really like and embrace Social Media or whether I want to completely banish all SM applications from my life and go back to a simpler life.

As I have been busy designing “the Social Media Awards Beirut”, I got inspired to write a small ‘contemporary poem’ (?).

The-Social-Media-Awards-Design

Poke me

Write on my wall

Confide in me, tell me how you feel

O-v-e-r-s-h-a-r-e the details

Fill my newsfeed with your presence

kylie-confide-in-me

I have let my Firewall down for you

And my browser saved all your Cookies

To get you in my reach

So that you’re almost real

Follow me back, won’t you

I meant it when I “liked” that photo of yours

You look so beautiful on those Instagram shots

Your artsy views on things got me fantasizing

And your Pinterest Boards merge perfectly with mine

Lust

I saw you were downtown on Foursquare

I hope you don’t mind that I planned a trip there too

So I can see you from afar

Wearing that DIY bracelet you “Stumbled Upon”

You look even better than On-screen

In that familiar outfit,

And those shoes you just got yesterday.

You’re like a YouTube video coming to life

And I can’t but stand there

Wondering how real you are,

Holding a pack of your favorite candy

As I see someone step into the photo with you.

He holds your hand, smiling and romantic

Just like that photo you blogged on tumblr last night.

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It all happened so suddenly, I’m puzzled.

I thought that status you wrote was meant for me

And our long chats meant something.

You cheated but you will never know

I killed you but it will never show

Because you’re made of pixels

And honey pixels can’t grow.

😦

BITCH

*Photos from “Vulgar Chic” on Pinterest.

 

& JUMP!

10 Feb

As most of us fantasize about leaving their routines behind, breaking the habit, and coming out of the cage, some people go ahead and do it.

do it.

By some people, I mean Nader Diab and Imad Berro. Nader was with me in high school, the typical douche/bully high school molds you to be, now turned into travel guru and life teacher. I am utterly astonished by how that guy turned himself around, got a smashing body, a tan, and a winner’s attitude and rose above all the macho clichés.

The wonders of weight loss and tans.

The wonders of weight loss and tans.

With his buddy Imad, they started travelling around, exploring different countries, and together they started “Globe Jumpers”, a movement they are hoping would encourage the youth to go out there and explore the richness of our dearest Planet Earth.

Imad Berro being all exotic

Imad Berro being all exotic

I sat with them for a mini chit chat via facebook, here’s what they had to say:

How did the idea of Globe Jumpers come about? 

The idea of globe jumpers came to us as a pure coincidence: we met William, a writer and traveler and told him about our passion to explore the world. He was not only amused by our drive, but also suggested we go big with it. This is how we started assembling pictures of us jumping in different surroundings, different cultures, different continents; the ‘jump’ is the only consistent element in an ever-changing backdrop.

Jumping in Malibu Bay!

Jumping in Malibu Bay!

How many countries/cities have you travelled so far? 

It would be hard to count the number of cities we’ve been to due to the fact that we enjoy targeting remote areas, such as deserted islands, small villages and mountaineering adventures. We have visited about 40 countries in total: looking forward to doubling the number in the upcoming 2 years.

travel-inspiration-words

Does “Globe Jumpers” get in the way of your respective jobs?

No, it does not get in the way of our jobs simply because, figuratively speaking, we live two lives. We have a multitude of jobs from teaching at schools to working in hospitals. We use what we make out of these jobs to fuel our taste for adventure. All our day-to-day experiences help us build patience and gain knowledge, which become the building blocks of our travels.

Jumping over Chile

Jumping over Chile

What is your most prominent travel memory? 

In 2010, we took a trip to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. The women there had to carry massive baskets filled with fruits on their heads and go sell them at the market, civilians had to shower outside while the youngsters found their form of entertainment in playing with pebbles and twigs. The houses were made out of clay, and the thought of these homes having to withstand weather changes only baffled us. We left Port-au-Prince having gained attachment to the city, along with appreciation for what we had back home. Devastatingly enough, a week later we found out about the massive earthquake that shook the area and took with it the lives and happiness of those Haitians. We still think about them all the time.

What is the most touching travel memory?

The day we went to the Dominican Republic. A woman called Ramona hosted us, gave up her bed and shared the couch with her son; she also protected us with her only mosquito net, saying that she was used to the bites but that the insects could end up hurting the newcomers.

The next day we had the great honor of meeting all her family member a nice “arroz y pollo” typical Dominican dish. Meeting people like this, you can’t but be humbled and touched; we feel like humanity exists the most in less “civilized” corners of the planet.

Jumping over "La Laguna Esme", Argentina

Jumping over “La Laguna Esme”, Argentina

Tell me about your most spiritually enriching experience?

“March 2012, Patagonia, Chile”, the day we discovered meditation.

It was the third day of a weeklong camping expedition, and we met a wise Japanese man named Yoshi. He spoke nothing but Japanese, but that didn’t stop us from conversing with him via body language. Meeting Yoshi gave a spoonful of Japanese culture that we had never witnessed; since then we started incorporating meditation techniques into our travelling experiences. This has enabled us to become one with nature and appreciate our surroundings, environment and our instinct of survival considering the fast rough climate changes we are bound to experiment. Glaciers become more majestic, mountains sharper, rivers more refreshing, and trees more alive!

the Torres mountains in Chile

the Torres mountains in Chile/ Photo taken by the Globe jumpers themselves.

Do you have a message to convey through your Facebook page?

We want to be the first Lebanese youngsters to jump around the world.

We would like to inspire others to take a walk in our shoes, or in this case, our hiking boots; the world has a lot to offer in ways a tour guide can’t. Motivating others to do the same is what we would love to see happen: Traveling opens you up your mind, develops your tolerance and understanding to others.

While travelling, do you ever see concretely the effects of “Global Warming”? 

For the first years of our travels, our main focus and excitement was targeted on exploring till we hiked up the mount of Kilimanjaro where the snow on top is known to be eternal.

We were dumbfounded by the massive glaciers but shocked to learn that they had once been even grander. “Within the decade there will be no more snows of Kilimanjaro”.  A local once said.

Also, visiting the “Descente de la Lesse” in Belgium (a 7 hour rapid river kayaking), the trees in the forest had lessened; the rivers had narrowed, limiting the only source of living for certain populations.

at Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania

at Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania

What is your ultimate ambition when it comes to “Globe Jumpers”?

As globe jumpers, our ultimate ambition is to travel the world and take on nature with the most adventurous challenges possible. Most importantly, we do this while carrying the Lebanese passport and Flag: it is important for us to represent our country and spread the real image of Lebanon around the Globe; one of cultural richness where religions and ideals cohabitate.

If you wish to connect with the guys personally or try to hit on them (all the single ladies), you can join their Facebook page and stay up to date with their latest activity. Who knows, they might have us jumping with them one day!

Jumping over Huttington Beach state park

Jumping over Huttington Beach state park

WE WANT MOAH JUMPIN’ JUMPIN’ a la Beyoncey

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I am Carrie Bradshaw (for a day)

10 Jan

A while ago, Time Out Magazine Beirut asked me to write their fashion column, and ever since I felt like Carey Bradshaw, minus the tutu.

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My assignment was to go meet a stylish Lebanese man, by the sea, in Zaytounay bay: Joey Ghazal, who happens to be one of the few male fashionistos in town.

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We sat down for a talk, over fresh orange juice (because it was too early for Cosmopolitans) and here’s how it went down.

“I think men in Beirut barely take any risks when it comes to fashion. There is a lot of repetition and a predictable wardrobe for the typical Lebanese guy.”  Says Joey when I ask him about the style credentials of the local boys.

“I like to experiment” – adding colorful bracelets to his otherwise classic outfits of rolled up jeans, rolled up simple shirts and boat shoes seems to do the trick; a hint of color to the nautical palette he dearly favors.

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“Working by Zaytounay Bay has definitely influenced my style”. With nothing on St. Tropez, Monaco and other bling-bling waterfronts, the women of Beirut come here dressed to the nines, risking having their stilettos stuck between wooden decks. “Women in Beirut know what they want when it comes to fashion” because what’s a city without an (over)dose of glamour?

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Joey is very keen on reflecting the identity of the restaurants he manages, subtly setting the dress code for his customers. When he is in New York style steakhouse, CRO-MAGNON, Ghazal does the whole “chinos, blazer, simple shirt, brown belt and shoes look” which never fails to exude laid back chic while adding colorful scarves for a twist: “after all, we are on the Mediterranean, and a monochromatic palette doesn’t fit our surroundings”.

Joey refers to his moods and the occasion to put together his signature outfits. As it is important not to be over or under-dressed; he always takes the fresh, gentlemen approach with a tasteful attention to detail, “Adam Levine meets Mad Men’s Don Draper”

I finish off the interview with a snap of his outfit.

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Peachy right?  

For moah fashion trend hunting, check out my Pinterest board:

And read the full article in the new first issue of Time Out Beirut style (@StyleBeirut), in which you’ll find all the go-to addresses to update your style destination database!

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Thoughts on Death.

15 Dec

Getting existential about life is typical behavior from us poor humans.

But whatever belief system we strongly defend,whatever we do for a living, whatever values we stand for, death is the only truth we always knew.

I was never one to be uncomfortable with death, in fact, I always thought of it as a promise.

You know, like a cumshot at the end of sex, orgasm- the end.

And as we all look forward to that release, I have looked forward to mine as well.

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You see, death is everywhere around us. In this very blog if I don’t write on it, on your own laptop if the battery goes away while you’re reading-With every sunset.

With every friendship, that withers when you are trying hopelessly to save it. When a love you thought was real goes sour and your stomach turns, and you start losing your hair/appetite.

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With the end of the world in a few days, or the shootings in Connecticut, or the deaths in Syria, I have been reminded of the omnipresence of death.

Today, I decided to go through death, as an experience not a tragedy. And no I don’t mean commit suicide, mum.

Just play-pretend, you know? It can’t be that bad. And all that fear frankly makes me feel like a pussy.

So I decided to be unavailable for a while.

Disappear.

And do this meditation technique by Osho.

I think you should do it too, even if you don’t feel strongly about meditation, or spirituality.

a visit from darkness itself.

a visit from darkness itself.

In the pop culture calendar, the world will end next week; if it does, I think it will look something like this:

(from the beautiful movie “Melancholia” by Lars Von Trier.)

I already miss life after having gone through my macabre day.

Gimmemoah Life after death!

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Try a little Compassion

14 Oct

Today, as I was driving to work, and the first fall clouds hit the still warm Beirut weather, a woman was crossing the street, an umbrella hanging from her bag, waiting for someone to let her pass.

At that moment, It really hit me, how vulnerable we are as humans.

A little drop of rain and we are in dire need of protection. Just like we all need to eat (previous post), we ALL need protection/shelter: We all need each other.

As I stopped my car to let let the lady cross, she hastily threw herself to the other side of the road so that she doesn’t stand in my way and thanked me apologetically, as if expecting me not to stop, her umbrella almost falling from her bag.

Cars were honking/passing me all along that fraction of a minute I dared to pause to allow a woman in her forties to get to work on time, using the not so good Lebanese public transportation, or probably just walking on her feet, a balancing act with all those motorbikes coming the opposite way of the traffic (as if you haven’t done enough)

at this rate, your chances of surviving as a pedestrian are close to null.

I don’t know what triggered that, but this scene made me cry. Weep even.

I don’t know why I get those outbursts of compassion sometimes, à la Mean Girls,

but It really saddens me how much we don’t care about each other.

A vulnerable woman, who needs protection from the rain, can’t rely on her fellow humans to cross the street safely.

As I went to Yoga class today, I was reminded that we are all one – we are made out of one energy- so open your hearts people.

open your hearts and arms, trolls.

This isn’t a sermon; instead look at it as a slap in the face so that next time you remember to be more loving. And if you don’t then I’ll slap you.

Sit there for a moment, and feel yourself fill up with love. Release a little compassion into the world (sounds like a quiff), we could really use some. I know that we all have anger, and stress doesn’t help, but anger and compassion are the same energy – it’s up to us to transform it.

even in Beirut.

People of the city, for God’s sake stop honking, and let pedestrians cross, even if you’re late and REMEMBER (excerpt from an OSHO talk)

Your neighbor is just a form of you; your enemy is also a form of you. Whatsoever you come across, you come across yourself. You may not recognize because you are not very alert; you may not be able to see yourself in the other, but then something is wrong with your vision, something is wrong with your eyes. COMPASSION is therapeutic.”

Love thy neighbor as thyself?

We’re all in this together, even people who think color blocking is IN this season, this one’s for you:

http://danielleabisaab.blog.com/2012/07/16/were-all-in-this-together/

Maybe you should also listen to this song:

It feels so sexy to be kind; we already agreed that kind is the new mean.

Let me see y’all gimme some compassion-spread the word,

Pictures from this Pinterest board, check it out for moah Inspirational quotes, that will hopefully inspire you to be a better person. thanks Dani!

Hugs (for the pretty ones only)

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Are you brave enough to unleash your Peacock?

4 Oct

Finally, I get to come here, and actually be inspired to write about something that is dear to my heart: FASHION.

If you think Fashion is fickle, and it’s only about starving models + Ana Wintour, then you need to see the fashion doctor (or just gimme a buzz).

Krikor Jabotian’s intricate couture, is a living proof of the ART, craft and design process that go into designing one collection/dress.

Originally Armenian, Krikor was born and bred in Beirut – The Armenian influence is evident in his designs/brand image, with many references to Armenian art and artists, particularly Sergei Parajanov.
With a peacock as his emblem, sensitivity at the tip of his hands, Krikor creates airy designs, ones that float, breathe and freeze in a sudden halt to tell a story.
His father’s Jeweler’s background is behind the embroidery and ornaments implemented in an empiric manner, enough to please any aspiring “Fellini” Greek Goddess.
Expect a lot of nude, blush colors, and fabric; the result is statuesque, theatrical even – The Pieces are far from shy, and impose a lot of personality on the women wearing “nouvelle couture”(new couture), as Jabotian likes to call it. You will not go unnoticed, without having to flash a boob – yes please, ladies.

poudré

A lesson of class from Jordanian Royalty – seen here in Jabotian

demure Beauty Queen

 

In a scene that is more and more fastidious, Krikor has found his niche clientele alongside well traveled Arab women, fashion connoisseurs, talent hunters and BRIDES.

wonderful cake-like wedding dress

a carnation-like movement

 

couture for the little bridesmaids

Check out moah of his work here:
And on my Pinterest fashion board:
*If you would like to request photo credits, kindly email me: gimmemoah@gmail.com
Namaste!
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